(c) 1998 Rip Van Wormer.
This file is published by his permission at the website maintained by
Wayne S. Rossi, which can be found at:
http://www.fortunecity.com/rivendell/dark/402
and is not to be published or transmitted, except by permission of the author, 
who can be reached at rasgon@aol.com.
Rip Van Wormer
From: Rasgon

Everyone is welcome to post this anywhere they want, as long as you're willing to take the credit for it.  Good luck.

Goblin Merchant
Habitat: Goblin Merchants are found throughout the Flanaess.  They work for the Slave Lords in the Pomarj, and are also found in large numbers in Iuz, the Bone March, and the Great Kingdom.  A merchant of mixed gnome/kobold blood lives in the City of Greyhawk, unsuccessfully trying to pass as a halfling.
Role: Goblin merchants work as hucksters, traders, dealers and pimps.
Requirements: Maximum Charisma 9
Allowed races: goblins, norkers, xvarts, mongrelmen and extremely ugly gnomes
Recommended classes: thieves, bards, fighters, priests of Abbathor or similar deities.
Bonus Proficiencies: appraisal
Recommended Proficiencies: information gathering, blindfighting, seduction
Required Proficiencies: "whup-ass stick"
Special Abilities:
the Hard-Sell: once per day, the Merchant can attempt to use its abrasive personality to sell a product.  A Reaction Roll is rolled: if the result is unfavorable, then the NPC will buy the product (within reason and alignment) just to be rid of the creature.
Glamour: The Merchant may, once per week, utilize the small amount of illusion magic passed down among Goblin Merchants for generations, along with simple chicanery.  The value of a single product is increased by 10%, but this is entirely superficial.  The same techniques merchants use to screen for Fool's Gold will unmask Glamoured merchandise, although a mere detailed inspection will not.
the whup-ass stick: This storied weapon is made of chain links, sticks, crowbars, and various modified tools and household implements.  The whup-ass stick isn't special in any way, but it is the only weapon Goblin Merchants normally use.  It tends to be easily concealable or camoflagable.  Damage varies not only from weapon to weapon, but from week to week as the Stick is modified, added to, and repaired.  Roll 1d6 every Moonday: T= tiny sized
opponents, S= small, M= Medium, L= Large, G= Gargantuan
1 1d2 TM/1d2 MLG; a "bad whup-ass stick day"
2 1d4/1d2
3 1d4/1d4
4 1d6/1d2
5 1d6/1d4
6 1d8/1d4
Special Disabilities:The major disadvantage of being a goblin merchant (besides being ridiculous) is rival goblin merchants.  One can be expected to move into another's territory several times a month, if not weekly, requiring constant self-promotion and frequent rumbles.
Equipment: Large fancy floppy hat, "funky" clothing (goblin funk is not something you want to get close to), costume jewelry, "whup-ass stick."

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